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Divorce with Dignity

What's your view of family law proceedings? Have you tried Collaborative Law...Tanya Lavan discusses the impact collaborative law can have on family law proceedings

Today I attended a networking event which was wonderful and I got a lot out of it. The best thing I got out of it though, one of the attendees said to me with his fingers crossed over in an ‘x’ formation as though warding off evil “the only people that win in family law are the lawyers, I don’t want to sit with you”. This really hurt and the reason it hurt was, I knew that the only experience this person had with family lawyers in the past would have been litigious, acrimonious, painful and expensive. Thankfully he provided me the opportunity to respond and let him know about the work that is being done in Collaborative Law by Collaborative Lawyers in Melbourne who are committed to changing the way clients, who are human, people separating from a person they once loved experience family Law. Through Collaborative Law you might be lucky enough to experience the following;

  1. A lawyer that will hold you to a dignified standard of behaviour that you will look back on in the future and be proud of yourself.
  2. A participation agreement signed by both parties to the separation confirming that they will behave in the matter in a dignified and positive way.
  3. A trained psychologist that will meet with you individually or with your partner and also your children if necessary to help you process the pain, to move the process forward in a timeline that suits everyone, to assist it and your former partner in talking to each other and negotiating and moving forward, to give you expert advice on spend time arrangements and parenting your children as they are the most important thing to any parent.
  4. A financial planner that will look at all assets, liabilities and superannuation and give advice on a division that would meet the needs of everyone without a focus on one party getting everything they want and not focusing on what the other person wants.
  5. The opportunity to choose what your future will look like and not have the other person or the courts dictate this to you.

I have been so inspired by people going through the collaborative process during my time as a practitioner. I’ve seen couples generously provide for their children and former partners and also give the other person something they really wanted because the fear and pain were managed. They were able to understand what was important to the other and why and in turn know they would have enough and their fears would be alleviated and looked after.

After that conversation I made a new friend and am sure that if this person ever knew anyone going through a separation they would recommend Collaborative Law.

This does not work for everybody though. If there is abuse and family violence it may not be appropriate but it’s worth asking about.

If you or anybody you know needs a referral or recommendation or even just wants to discuss the above. Please get in touch for a confidential conversation about your circumstances.

Tanya Lavan

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